Posts Tagged ‘God’


It was fun. The place was awesome!. It’s not really what I expected about this place but when we arrived I was like “WOW” I want to live here. Going here is so unforgettable. i’ll be back here soon.

 At the end of my day, my tummy hurts badly. I eat random of food not knowing that it was too much. Around 3:00 am my tummy starts to feel bad, I can’t even talk nor move. I was rushed in the hospital about 5:00 am. I vomit badly.  I feel so sick, saying  “Lord, take my hand” It’s like I’m losing, I swear I feel that. But anyway, It’s a good thing that I feel much better afterwards. The bad thing is that ‘I have an amoebiasis. Well, I just have to work on with my food.

I really feel so relieved especially knowing that people cares about me, I mean people do care but I really feel so great and thankful for the people near me. I thank you a lot for showing me that you were worried about my condition. I should say that ‘don’t you worry’ but then I feel so good even for just a few words you had asked me or do for me it WAS HEAVENLY THOUGHT of relieved.

Anyway, thanks mom… and to monkey and my friends. I hope you’ll still stick with me ’till the very end of our day. hehe.. please people DON’T CHANGE I can’t find any other person same as you XD


I ask mom a billion times “when will dad go home” then the answer I always get is “soon honey”.  I can’t wait.  At times,  I’m in an emo mode and stare blankly at the floor thinking something that I cannot describe.

Then one night,  I cried like a baby.  I tried to stop it, but can’t do something about it. There are things that dad can do for me that not even one of the person surrounds me can. There are things that  dad would help me and never tried to hurt me when he scolded me ( he’s just talking at me not saying bad words or negative things about me).  He is all fair and square. I love him, I just don’t understand that all over the years we’ve been apart.  I should get used of missing him but on that night I ask him in my mind  “Dad! please come home now, I need you. Mom don’t understand me as much as you do”. Then,  I just covered my face with the pillow and cried and cried.

My emotions are in a mist at that time. Why am I still catching my breath? Why can’t I hold the fact that there could be no one for me but myself in this fantasy land. I can heal my pain without others (pretty hard). I can love myself more than anybody could.  I don’t want to be emo or something, I want to be in an ordinary life.  There are times that I hate myself for being weak.  If I got stuck with my emotions, then I easily cried. Today, I have cough badly and always experiencing hyperventilate, also I get dizzy a lot at home whenever I’m stressed and sometimes I walk like a drunk (i feel like the world is turning around).

Thanks to my friends, who inspires me a lot and I’m hoping you would not stop loving me until I stop loving you,  but theres no end in loving you so there’s no point of  ‘stop loving me’ ….. understand?? (yes it’s confusing… I am confused too .laugh.laugh.laugh) tell me! I’m crazy ain’t I ?